When the Levee Breaks: Recapping the Past Few Years
In 2018, I started to become extremely jaded from playing music and what felt like a corner I had backed myself into professionally. Everything was proving itself to be difficult in the direction I was heading musically and at the same time it felt like I was at the top of my performance and earning a living doing so. The world, life, and very importantly my health and relationships were in extreme upheaval and as an act of faith, I decided to completely retire from music to see what life held outside the false narratives I was feeding myself; that I couldn't do anything different and was failing at life.
I also challenged myself to sobriety and opening up myself to change the very angst person I was. I wanted to know what my purpose in life was and where simplicity of contentment rested. I wanted peace and solitude and had no clue how to achieve it. The world, life, and my health; it's a very spiritual endeavor to self-actualize.
Over the course of the five years between 2018 and 2023, I studied with a mentor Tom Catton who served with Mother Theresa in Calcutta, as well as serving the entire world helping individuals get clean from addiction. I studied mindfulness with John Bruna (former Tibetan Buddhist monk). I met several individuals in these fields of mindfulness and self-improvement. Many who had degrees and published books. Others who designed their own programs (i.e., shadow work). I even met some who had been serving life sentences (including Benny Lee who served on Death Row awaiting execution), only to re-enter society as a very influential people that helped others others worldwide. I also had the opportunity to work in a treatment facility, travel, and share my story with others worldwide. I even went back to school to graduate with honors in Psychology.
Two months prior to graduating, I started going through personal issues that shook the foundation of my life to its core. Most specifically, I lost a core group of my network in 2022 including friends, the longterm relationship I was in, and my closest mentor (Tom who passed away from dementia). I will also mention here, I lost my father in 2018 from similar issues between dementia and a stroke. The grieving process is particular in its special way of unfolding its process. Many times it's often introduced through shock. At this time, I started having other challenges with my health and getting older. Issues started arising with my brain from hyper-multitasking; it felt like I was close to a stroke from the stress of doing too many things at once. The emotional hit of everyone leaving so suddenly, and intensely; these issues take time to process and detox from. Currently, I'm still going through a lot. I assumed I was heading in this therapeutic direction with my degree.
This is where new doors started opening for me. I couldn't find work in the field I was pursuing my degree in; not anything offering compensation worth pursuing. I ended taking a subcontracting position in the marketing field, which I truly enjoy very much, yet the compensation hadn't giving me the opportunity to pursue it further. And the way I started dealing with everything was to write. Let everything out on paper, including solution based practices that I study in mindfulness. This opened the door back up to artistic creation and passion. I had felt insanely alone through everything and poetry, music, and art started to become my lifeline. Poetry was a true feeling of freedom. To express everything I was feeling, that no one else could relate to (and felt like they didn't want to). I had hit a breaking point to reanalyze what I was doing with my life and why.
Going back to December of 2022, I was driving home from an evening with my daughter. I love hearing and learning new music. We decided to go home and cover a Cavetown song on Facebook Live. As it received a huge amount of attention and likes (my daughter is an amazing singer and talent), it also stirred something inside of me that had been missing. This artistic freedom I previously mentioned combined with what had been missing greatly… music. At the time, I instantly knew I wanted to form a band with my daughter; who instantly declined. My biggest obstacle, even currently, has been my vocals; so, I thought it would be incredible to have another vocalist. The long story short here, bringing in the culmination of events to lead back to becoming a full-time professional musician, is I didn't have much support and lost nearly complete contact with my previous network. This included musicians, agents, and venues. I quickly realized this was going to be a challenge and wasn't 100% about doing it at all.
I took my time and started working on material with little to no vocals (they were horrendous). My friend and influence (Cori Blanch; owner of Curitiba Art Cafe in Fredericksburg, VA), offered me a gig at his place in March of 2023. It ended up doing exceptionally well with a packed house ending in standing room only. Afterwards, I was still in a very weird spot and not feeling I could actually proceed. Although work had been slowing down in marketing, I still picked up jobs with it here and there. This is where I'd meet one of the greatest influences to stir my musical blood. 27 year old Jonathan Paige Brown Jr., [Jon].
Jon played daily gigs in beautiful Tappahanock VA, as well as he played other venues that reminded me of my 30 year stint as a professional musician. I took the opportunity to see him as much as possibly and we became very close; “kindred spirits”. I would sit under his music and be lulled into processing my feelings, emotions, and the relationship issues I had over the course of time. I would write poetry, take photographs, record Jon's performances and take notes (this is what I student does in order to grow in their passion!). I was able to visit extremely beautiful places and be engulfed in tremendous gratitude. Jon's advice to me was to knuckle down and get to work (musically). It was obvious I had a calling going on.
Well, exactly June 1st of 2023, I made the extreme decision to fully invest myself back into music. Not necessarily as an entertainer (which it may be entertaining for some) but to pour my soul out into my music, writing, and performance. I went to a Hilton in Thornburg VA, got a room, and stayed up most of the night long creating my promo and press kits to promote myself and send to agencies. From this point, I executed 70 performances, have written dozens of songs, studied with Nashville guitar virtuoso Cameron Knowler, and currently embarking in studying vocals and songwriting with Nashville artist Michaela Anne. I have to give a quick plug for her podcast: The Other 22 Hours - If you are a professional musician and reading this, I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this Podcast! They indulge everything that is on the professional side of music, including: “… conversations with different Grammy winning, Platinum-selling, and long-haul career artists [and talk about] the tools and routines they've found most helpful in maintaining their creativity, inspiration, and sanity while navigating a career around their art.”
Over the past year, I have been challenged to relearn everything I knew about music; especially playing guitar and artists I admire for influence. I wanted to learn better skills, that I avoided overtime due to bad habits, embarking in learning fingerpicking styles and worldly music from folk to classical. What ended up feeling like a passionate desire, became a huge pilgrimage. I became infactuated with independent artist in the folk and eclectic-pop field. I had the opportunity to meet a lot them and realized I was in the greatness of some of the most phenomenal artist of our current times.
It was through music, I was able to seek refuge from past trauma experiences. I was able to feel freedom to allow myself to express myself emotionally without feeling judgement. Music became Comfort, My Heart, and My Refuge… It is My Religion!
Coming into 2024, the ride is in motion and ain't no stopping! More and more, I have been investing in equipment, cameras, and upgrading platforms. I am TRULY grateful for the independent artist creating these structures to give future artists a template to go by for creating and selling music, developing platforms, merchandise ideas, creative content and press kit examples, as well as tour schedules and music ideas. We are truly a product of our teachers and predecessors. I see a great deal of successful artists promoting and advocating good health and taking care of ourselves. Most great-successful businesses (and leadership) promote ethical environments to thrive in.
I am currently booking all the way out into December and continuing my writing process for an upcoming release. I need all the help and support I can get! Again, I am cemented into this journey and not looking back.
My newest endeavor has been to create playlists: Wunderlich Folklore (Indie-Folk & modern eclectic music to mostly endorse active bands currently working) and Fluxmind Collective (a meditation/ mindfulness group, based out of Las Vegas NV, that I co-founded with host Richard Hayes). These playlists, along with my original music projects, umbrella our label and publishing company entitled: Wunderlich Music. The name spawned from an inscription on one of my 1970 Stella guitars and suits me well. Wunderlich in english is a title to give an eccentric, odd, or moody person. Eclectic! I want my music to be honest, transparent, comforting, expressive, and a ground for grievance and heavy laden emotions (good, bad, and indifferent). We are often in such a “suck it up buttercup”, apathetic, and self-centered state, that are emotions and ability to be completely transparent about the realness in this world; where people are forgotten and left behind to the quickness and dullness of mainstream obsession.
Stop and smell the roses! Stop and allow yourself to feel. Our ego's are wiping us into nonexistence. There is research showing that the older generation is soon to out-populate the rest of society. Less babies being born and health conditions across the board. There is other research showing that when we live in our current times in a state of compassion, empathy, and love for others and treat ourselves and our health with these same principles, that we can reverse diseases such as cardio-vascular and other health problems we have. This isn't me getting on a soapbox, this is me challenging an individual somewhere out here in the universe to drop the imagery and know that change is obtainable. We start by changing non-belief to believing what we want to change about ourselves is truly possible.
My hopes and musical campaign this year is to keep growing and release my music as soon as possible. I want to travel as far as possible and share the gift of love with others. If you read this far, thank you for taking the time out to hear me. My road thus far has been far from easy but what I'm learning is to be flux with change and keep putting one foot in front of the other and enjoy the ride. Cry if you need to cry and simply be a part of…
Love JoJo
